The Debate Over Flirting

My previous entry, about whether or not its ok to flirt with married men/women sparked a bit of interest. Comments were left, emails were sent, tweets were twittered, etc. I have heard arguments from both perspectives.

I felt maybe I should clarify some as to what sparked the train of thought resulting in that entry.

When I was younger, I had this on again, off again boyfriend. It started way back in Grade School, we were like Cory and Topanga on the show "Boy Meets World". Best friends when we weren't "together" as well as when we were. I always seemed to be the one to break it off, but he was always there as a backup when it didn't work out for me with someone else.

About 12 years ago, due to circumstances beyond our control, we became separated by distance, a distance the length of numerous states.

A few months after his departure he wrote to me and professed his love, insisting that one day, as soon as he could, he would return and ask me to marry him.

I was in high school, nowhere near ready to be thinking about marriage, much less marrying a guy who was no longer in the same state as me, and who wouldn't be until well after high school was over. He expected me to finish high school out WITHOUT dating anyone, and just wait for him? I didn't think so.

We continued to write letters back and forth, and call to wish each other a Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas, things like that. He did come back to visit old friends and some family once or twice and we were able to see each other briefly, but that was about the extent of it.

Over time I met and fell in love with a guy, and we got engaged. I also became pregnant. This old boyfriend of mine was devastated and promptly stopped contacting me or returning my letters. I moved on, got married, and continued with my life.

After that marriage ended in divorce many years later, and I was working on rebuilding my life and old friendships that I had been forced to abandon, I found this old boyfriend on a social networking site. I had looked for him online in the past, but never was able to find him. At this time he was also going through a divorce, and ironically we had left our spouses within days of each other. He felt it was fate, that we were meant to find each other, and he told me he planned to move back as soon as his divorce was final and he wanted us to give it another try when he did.

I admit, I considered the possibility. He was, after all, my old stand by. My marriage had failed, why not fall back into my safety net?

After seriously contemplating the possibilities, I realized that, no, it couldn't happen. I had changed and grown in so many ways, not all good ways. I had lost my innocence in a number of ways since the last time we had seen each other, and when I thought of him, I thought of my innocent self. I tried to imagine what it would be like for us to be together after all the things I had been through (many of which I will never post online), and when I tried to imagine us being intimate, I realized that it couldn't happen. We were not the same 2 people we had been before, He was part of my innocence, I could never have sex with him. Not that that is the whole story, but that is about as clearly as I can ever explain it to anyone.

At the time I was considering this, I was also getting to know another man, someone I had been getting to know for many months before I found my old boyfriend on that social networking site, someone who actually lived in the same state as me. I decided to take a leap of faith and NOT go back to my safety net. I chose the road least traveled. Old BF wasn't happy about that and continued to try and convince me that we should be together.

Over time I thought he had figured out that it wasn't going to happen. Especially after I married and had a child with the man down the road least traveled. I thought I had made it clear to everyone just how blissfully happy I AM with this man. He is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me! My old BF even went and got married to the girl he was seeing shortly after finding out that my husband and I had gotten married. I thought it was over.

Until yesterday. I posted a status on this unnamed social networking site, and this is about how it went:

Me: Head. Pounding. Pressure. Pain. Shoot. Me. NOW.

Him: Get a massage. It always worked before.

Me: No one around to massage it for me and me doing it isn't working... hubby is still at work and has his class tonight. And.... WOW..... I haven't seen you in like 10 years and you remember that?

Him: Some things are way too good to forget.

Me: (Trying to avoid where the conversation appeared to be going) Good point.... on the other hand, there are all those things you wish you COULD forget but you can't.

Him: There are a lot of things that I never have been able to forget about.

Me: (Not sure what to say) I believe you.

Him: I miss you.

Now... I really didn't know what to say after that, so I dropped it, went offline completely.

I talked to hubby about it that evening and he said that if he were in the same shoes as that guy, and it was his old GF posting about having a headache, and he wasn't with me... he would feel as if HE should be there to help her through the headache... that by keeping him on my friends list, I am in essence, leading him on.

Should I just remove him completely? I hate to seem like a bitch, I mean he and I have been friends since like 2nd or 3rd grade, and we are nearly into our 30's now! That's a LONG time to be friends with someone, a lot of history. I hate the idea of being rude to people, because I'm just NOT the bitch type, unless I HAVE to be... so the question is...

Do I have to be a bitch?

Is It Ok To Flirt With A Married Man/Woman?

Contemplating: Is infidelity so commonplace these days that people feel it's really "OK" to flirt with a clearly happily married person? I mean sure, you may be attracted to the person, or you may have "been there first", but they are married... MARRIED, you know, emphasis on that nasty M word right there... Whether they are happy or not, I just don't feel that that is ok...

When a person marries someone, they are committing themselves to THAT person, not leaving themselves open for someone like YOU to begin or even continue the flirting, suggestive comments, or even eyeing them in any way, shape or form.

Once that marriage license is signed and someone's name gets changed (or not as the case may be), you need to respect the life decision that has been made, and back off...

Nuff Said.

New Hair!

Quick post, I got my haircut, and LOVE it! I was nervous, SO nervous, and had my friend come over to cut it while hubby was gone so he couldn't talk me out of going short.

It's shorter than I had planned but It is so awesome!!!!

#4 wasn't quite sure what to think, being a baby when Mom, who supplies the FOOD, makes a drastic change to her looks... it can be a bit confusing, especially when she still SMELLS the same, so I got strange looks from her for the first day or so, but I think she has come around. She actually smiles when she sees me now!

Hubby wasn't sure what to think at first, he wouldn't even look at me for more than 2 seconds at a time for the first day, but after he had a chance to adjust to it, and it relaxed some he has decided that he really does like it after all. Which makes me happy, I was worried he was going to absolutely hate it and then I'd feel really bad. He keeps joking that "it will grow back some day" but he says he really does like it :)

ECHO... Echo... echo...

I know, I know, it's been a couple weeks since I've posted anything, sorry about that, been dealing with baby ear infections, doctors appointments, birthday parties, and work stuff, it left little time for FUN stuff like blogging.

Today I am a little nervous, I'm getting a haircut this afternoon. I haven't had a cut since January, and it was just a trim at that point. This cut will be quite the change, a good 6 inches or so at least. After 2 1/2 years the blonde hairdye is all but 2 inches grown out, this cut will completely eliminate all traces of the haircolor I had when I met my husband... and will be the first time in 13 or 14 years that my hair will be completely its original color.

Here's a few things that happened over the last week or 2 when I wasn't able to be here blogging:

• I learned, after being pinched mercilessly by an Earwig (Pincher bug) and doing lots of research on them, that NO, Earwigs do not STING you, they inject no poison, but they DO pinch and when they do that they don't let go and it FUCKING HURTS! EARWIGS SUCK AT LIFE!
  
• I became a soccer mom officially... Cleats, Shin guards, soccer practice, the whole nine-yards. SCORE! (so to speak)
  
• We SUCCESSFULLY hosted an Army theme birthday party, was very cool and hubby made an awesome cake (See picture above), there were about 12 kids here ages ranging from Newborn to 13, and not a SINGLE issue at all... We Rock!
• We took the kids to pick apples last night, bought 2 bushels so we can make and can apple sauce and apple slices (for pies and stuff through the winter). Yummy and Domestimacated!
• We got the "All Clear" from the urologist! Hubby is officially shootin' blanks, which means I don't have to worry about Sleep Sex! Now if only we had the TIME for sex.

Now... back to the real world for a bit, got work to do and errands to complete before it's time for my haircut... I may post pictures of the end results, or I may not... Yet one more reason for you to come back tomorrow!

If You're So Unhappy, Why Don't You Leave?

This is something that has driven me absolutely crazy, I see girls every day, have a few friends who deal with this crap daily almost and I HATE seeing them dealing with it... Unhappy Relationships.

I have been there, the unhappy, emotionally abusive, loveless marriage/relationship, so I know how hard it is to see whats going on right in front of you when you're IN that situation, and even when people try pointing things out to you, and all you can do is make excuses, and tell everyone "oh things aren't THAT bad, this doesn't happen very often, it was just because...... ________" Fill in the blank with reason of your choice why you're being treated like crap.

Men that are immature, lazy, disrespectful, and have "king-of-the-castle" mentality, "It's MY way or the Highway". SO many girls fall for these guys, fool themselves into thinking they are happy, and spend EVERY day complaining about things these men do.

For Example (and these are REAL things girls I know have said) -

* "He hasn't done ONE thing for the baby since he was born."
* "He doesn't respect me at all, I never feel like I'm wanted or needed."
* "He watches porn on the computer and then doesn't understand when I have no interest in sex."
* "He expects me to keep the house clean and take care of the kids all day, have dinner ready, and then doesn't care when I need a break in the evening and want him to help out with the kids."
* "All he ever does is sit in front of the TV playing video games all day."

Seriously girls, if you have SO many complaints about these guys, then WHY the hell are you still with them?!?!?!

Here are some excuses I've heard -

* "I love him."
* "We have kids together."
* "He's a great dad."
* "I have nowhere to go."
* "I'm afraid to leave and be on my own."
* "I don't have any way to support myself and the kids."
* "We are staying together for the kids."

SAD... There are ways around all of these... And chances are, yes, life will be hard, being a single parent is no fun (been there, done that) but there ARE people and places out there that WILL help you! In the end, it's PROBABLY better for ALL of you (ESPECIALLY any kids involved) if you DO separate...

Well, either get a clue and leave the idiot you're with, or shut up and deal with your misery instead of dragging EVERY one of your friends into the middle of it, cause honestly, we love you, we want you to be happy, that's why we TRY to help you when you're upset because of something idiot-boy said or did, but you never listen to us. It's quite obvious that EVERY time you come crying about the most recent incident that you are LOOKING for a way out, but whenever we TRY to help you get one, you make excuses and don't take it.

Sorry to sound like a bitch, but that's how it is.

You Never Stop Needing Your Mom

Mom: You crack me up.

Me: I do?

Mom: After 4 kids, you still ask me for advice, however, its been 15 years since I've had a baby

Me: Well, my other kids never gave me trouble about taking medication. (Baby has an ear infection)

Mom: I think its sweet... You still need me. Of course... I'm not sure how much help I really am, but I try.

Blog Makeover

So Ive been playing around with the layout, look, etc of my blog for DAYS and DAYS and DAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.... still have some more tweaking to do until I'm completely happy... but it is what it is, what do you think?

Everything Happens For A Reason

You ever notice how some things just seem to happen, no matter how off the wall it seems to be, shortly after you think about the possibility of it happening?

For example, The most embarrassing email I ever sent (it's a link, click it), I happened to be thinking to myself "wouldn't it suck if this got sent to the wrong person? I'd better be careful."

And then there was the time the inspection sticker on my car ran out, but I needed new tires before I could get a new one, and I still had to pick the hubby up from work and was SO paranoid I'd get pulled over, I wound up seeing more cops that first day than ever before.

It kind of goes along with my belief in Karma (what goes around, comes around) and that everything happens for a reason. I also believe that no matter how bad things really seem to be, if you remain positive, things will work out for you. All you have to do is believe it will happen and focus on the end result you'd like to see.

For instance, our financial situation, not so great. We do what we can, but you know, things happen. We recently had a week where things were so tight, we had no money for gas, the bank account was overdrawn, and we were missing at least one thing to make a meal out of any combination of food in the cupboards. We did our best to stay positive and take things a day at a time, and after just a day or two things turned around. I had some new customers in my store, which provided gas money, and in the mail we got some coupons from a local company for $20 worth of groceries of our choice, on them. A gift for the new baby. Thinking back to needing tires to get the car inspected, hubby got a bid on a roofing job and the extra money bought our tires.

Every day I am reminded that it all works out if you just believe, and I hope that my readers have the same positive experience with their outlook on life.

Stupid Things People Say In Court

• Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
• Witness: "No."
• Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
• Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
• Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
• Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Courtesy of: http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml

Mommy, Can I Have Some Tea?

So #3 and I were practicing the alphabet this morning while I was getting #4 dressed. We are going along, I'm saying the letters and then she is repeating them, until JUST about the end, then this is how it went:

"Q"

"Q"

"R"

"R"

"S"

"S"

"T"

"Mommy, I have some Tea?"

"U"

"No, YOU get it"

LOL that kid is something else alright...

Am I Soccer Mom Material?

My two boys both just brought me Soccer sign up sheets that they got in school today, and they BOTH want to sign up...

All I could think was HOLY MONEY THIS IS GONNA BE EXPENSIVE!

BUT, it says the fees will be determined by the number of athletes signed up and WON'T exceed $30

Guess I'll have to talk to the hubby about this tonight.

Will You Pee In A Cup For My Friend?

So I'm getting ready for work this morning, and the phone rings, it's my business ring so I figure it's either a customer or a telemarketer (that's the only number of our 2 that is listed so telemarketers and survey people call that one). I look at the caller ID and it's a customer, probably asking if I'm open yet, so I answer, This is about the gist of our conversation:

Her: "Hey, you know, you're one of only 2 people I know around here who aren't like a total Crack Whore or something" (and I'm thinking like "oh cool, I've managed to avoid the local stereo type!")

Me: "Ok, yeah" (laughing)

Her: "So I have an ODD request, I have this friend who is on probation, and she has to see her probation officer and she needs someone to pee in a cup for her..." (Ummmm....... seriously?)

Me: (Stumped and stalling for time) "What exactly are they testing her for?" (Racking my brain for an excuse NOT to break the law, without totally pissing this chick off cause I don't know her very well and she's a good customer, and I need the money, LOL!)

Her: "Oh, things like Pot, Coke, Opiates, stuff like that."

Me: (IDEA!) "Oh, shit, I don't think I can... I'm on some prescription pain killers." (SHIT, remembering this chick used to work in a Drs office.... racking my brain for a name)

Her: "Oh, which one?"

Me: (Finally thinking of something I DO have a prescription for) "Tylenol 3, I don't think the test would come out clean cause it has Codeine in it."

Her: "Shit, you're right"

Me: "Sorry!"

Her: (Laughing) "It's ok, Thanks anyway!"

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Ummm. WOW! I immediately called my mom to tell her about that one, LOL. My husband is gonna have a fucking BLAST with this one LMAO...!

Comments Are Fixed...

I was wondering why I had NO comments on ANY of my blogs, when I CLEARLY have been receiving traffic! I check my stats multiple times a day once a week just to keep track of how much I'm getting and where it comes from, and KNEW people were staying and visiting for fairly long periods of time, reading at least a few posts, but no one was commenting.

Then on twitter I received a message from @Kiki_Mo (from Thystle Says) telling me she had tried to comment but couldn't. Hmm... Strange...

I have been sick since Friday, and getting the kiddos ready to go back to school today (Oh, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SEPTEMBER!!!!), so hadn't had a chance to look into things.

Finally did, fixed the problem, tested it out, and YAY! I have comments!

Product Review: St. Ives Invigorating Apricot Scrub

No, I am NOT being paid or compensated in ANY way to post this opinion on St. Ives Invigorating Apricot Scrub.

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Now that we have the formalities out of the way:

I LOVE IT!

Now, I'm typically an avid Avon user, but have been looking for a good exfoliant for awhile and hadn't found one through Avon yet (I AM associated with an Avon Independent Sales Rep. who provides for all of my Avon needs - Click the word Avon anywhere in this post and check out her site - so even though I appreciate any potential offers, I am already covered, thanks!)

Back to my story...

I got this and another St. Ives product from one of those Sample people (you know, like in Walmart Supercenters and SAMs club and places like that) and was excited to try this especially (the other was a Collagen Elastin moisturizer and Avon already has me covered in that department!), I have loved all the St. Ives products I have tried in the past (though there was a peel off face masque that caused my face to turn bright red... BUT I think that's cause I was pregnant... hormones you know), Anyway, I tried this in the shower last night, and my face feels GREAT! Immediately after I rinsed it off, my skin felt SOOOOOOOO smooth, it was awesome, I can't wait to try it again! Thankfully it wasn't a little dinky sample pack or something, it was an actual tube of it, possibly even full size.

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Here's the details from their site:

Brighten Up. Your face comes first, and when it looks great, you do too. St. Ives Fresh Skin products - formulated from ingredients you know, like apricots, minerals and olives - give you the power to uncover your best you - naturally revealing fresh, glowing skin.

Invigorating Apricot Scrub

Exfoliates to reveal smooth, radiant skin

From America's #1 Scrub brand*, this award-winning Apricot Scrub deep cleans, instantly leaving skin smooth and glowing.

• Oil Free
• Non-Irritating
• Dermatologist Tested
• 100% Natural Exfoliants
• 100% Natural Extracts
• Formulated without Parabens and Phthalates
• Made without animal ingredients
• Not tested on animals

how to use

Moisten face with water. Dispense product onto fingertips and massage over face. Rinse with water. Avoid direct contact with eyes. In case of contact with eyes, flush thoroughly with water. For best results use 3 to 4 times per week.

*IRI F/D/M all outlet unit sales 52 wks ended 11/23/08.