Wednesday, September 9, 2009

If You're So Unhappy, Why Don't You Leave?

This is something that has driven me absolutely crazy, I see girls every day, have a few friends who deal with this crap daily almost and I HATE seeing them dealing with it... Unhappy Relationships.

I have been there, the unhappy, emotionally abusive, loveless marriage/relationship, so I know how hard it is to see whats going on right in front of you when you're IN that situation, and even when people try pointing things out to you, and all you can do is make excuses, and tell everyone "oh things aren't THAT bad, this doesn't happen very often, it was just because...... ________" Fill in the blank with reason of your choice why you're being treated like crap.

Men that are immature, lazy, disrespectful, and have "king-of-the-castle" mentality, "It's MY way or the Highway". SO many girls fall for these guys, fool themselves into thinking they are happy, and spend EVERY day complaining about things these men do.

For Example (and these are REAL things girls I know have said) -

* "He hasn't done ONE thing for the baby since he was born."
* "He doesn't respect me at all, I never feel like I'm wanted or needed."
* "He watches porn on the computer and then doesn't understand when I have no interest in sex."
* "He expects me to keep the house clean and take care of the kids all day, have dinner ready, and then doesn't care when I need a break in the evening and want him to help out with the kids."
* "All he ever does is sit in front of the TV playing video games all day."

Seriously girls, if you have SO many complaints about these guys, then WHY the hell are you still with them?!?!?!

Here are some excuses I've heard -

* "I love him."
* "We have kids together."
* "He's a great dad."
* "I have nowhere to go."
* "I'm afraid to leave and be on my own."
* "I don't have any way to support myself and the kids."
* "We are staying together for the kids."

SAD... There are ways around all of these... And chances are, yes, life will be hard, being a single parent is no fun (been there, done that) but there ARE people and places out there that WILL help you! In the end, it's PROBABLY better for ALL of you (ESPECIALLY any kids involved) if you DO separate...

Well, either get a clue and leave the idiot you're with, or shut up and deal with your misery instead of dragging EVERY one of your friends into the middle of it, cause honestly, we love you, we want you to be happy, that's why we TRY to help you when you're upset because of something idiot-boy said or did, but you never listen to us. It's quite obvious that EVERY time you come crying about the most recent incident that you are LOOKING for a way out, but whenever we TRY to help you get one, you make excuses and don't take it.

Sorry to sound like a bitch, but that's how it is.


Jody said...

The other thing that sucks is if they do leave him for a minute and you tell them how proud you are of them... then they get back with the idiot and are pissed off that you said something bad about them UGH

Miss Thystle said...

one word, sister. Money. My husband makes enough that I'm not living hand to mouth. I don't.

Not that it excuses his behavior, it doesn't and I don't. But it makes leaving MUCH harder. Not impossible. Not out of the question. Just harder.

Mamacakes said...

Ok well in all honesty that post was NOT directed at any of you, or anyone who would EVER read this blog lol.. it was written probably a year ago and was posted on a separate blog that I have since deleted, but it was a good post so I reposted it here, hehe

Mamacakes said...

Oh yeah, and to be more honest, the person it WAS mostly geared at (there were a few, but one stood out), DID finally leave her "idiot-boy" - long after this was written though

highlyirritable said...

Women need to realize that they are WORTH it. When a relationship is bad, it can be so so bad, but when you are in a good one, honey, there is NOTHING LIKE IT.

Kate said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Life is WAY too short to be unhappy. I just emailed your post to a friend who needs to hear exactly what you said from someone she doesn't know. It's funny how you just don't see when you're in the middle of the struggle to make a bad relationship better how easy it can be to make your life less complicated, less stressful, and more enjoyable. It takes a lot of effort to go through hell, but heaven on the other side is sure nice!!!

Jess said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mamacakes said...

I've BEEN in that Proverbial BAD relationship, it lasted 6 1/2 years until some HORRIBLE things started happening, it took me THAT long to realize I was in a living hell, and It amazes me every day now that I'm in a GOOD relationship, that I just COULDN'T see it then! I hate seeing people going through stuff like that, so I felt the need to blog my frustration... I hope it helps SOMEONE in the long run, even just one person, that would make all my efforts and blog entries that I have EVER posted and ever WILL post, worth it.