Sunday, December 6, 2009

I've Been De-Friended

Years ago my mother became friends with this guy on Yahoo! Chat.. he was with this crazy lunatic, and eventually they broke up. After awhile he met this other girl who we all really liked, they got married (in my living room!!!!), and after a couple years had a little girl.

It has been years now, lots of ups and downs between everyone involved. I still chat with both he and his wife regularly on [A popular social networking site].

Over the past couple of months his wife has seriously been seeming like she's LOSING HER FUCKING MIND!

Seriously... She was fed up with her job, and making excuses NOT to go, regardless of the fact that her husband has been unable to find a job at this point in time, and money is stretched super tight, like to the point they are having a hard time paying bills and providing for their daughter, even when she's working regularly.

Her husband knew she was tired of her job and was trying desperately to make life easy at home and find a job himself so she can change jobs, or whatever.

Instead of taking Her FAMILY and RESPONSIBILITIES into consideration, she just quits her job and takes another job, with a MAJOR pay cut...

Insisting for the first week that she's FINALLY doing what she loves, and how she's making a difference, etc.

Great, now let's just forget the fact that you TOLD YOUR FIVE YEAR OLD that she probably won't be getting anything for Christmas because you didn't want to keep your old job, and that she was heartbroken and cried herself to sleep that night... no, we won't bring that up at all.

Fast Forward another week... and EVERY post she makes on her status is complaining about her job, how much she hate it, how miserable she is, blah, blah, blahty blah.

Now.. I'm sorry but I've listened to her husband vent about this for a couple months now. She's bipolar and wasn't on meds and her doctor wasn't helping... My mother is Bipolar, My son very well may be bipolar as well... I KNOW what he is going through, on top of seeing her posts myself.

So FINALLY I say something. I posted a comment and asked if she was ever going to stop complaining about her job and just be thankful that she HAS one at all, when there are SO Many of us out there who can't find one.

That was it.

So she sends me a message and tries turning it into a pity party, how she hurt herself at work so she can't do hardly anything other than making beds, etc.

So? Specify that you hurt yourself and you're frustrated because you can't do what you're supposed to be doing... would that be so hard?

So she messages me back and is acting all poor pitiful me again saying "So it's ok for you and everyone else to vent online, but not me, I see. I'll just take you off my friends list and you wont have to see it anymore"

So I got dirty... and without telling her that her husband is seriously considering changing the locks one day while she's gone because he's completely fed up with her bitching and refusing to take care of herself or anyone else (including SHOWERING Ya'll!!!!!), I told her she may want to consider taking my advice before she loses EVERYTHING, because I've seen her attitude and I've seen how she treats her husband, and I can't understand why he puts up with it.

And she has officially "de-friended" me.... I'm heartbroken... no, really, can't you tell?

Moving To A New Host

Just a heads up that over the next few days or so I will be moving my blog to a new host with my own domain! (http://reinventing-mama.com and http://reinventing-mama.net)

The orders have been put in, payments paid, and through the week I will be transferring my blog to my new host.

Bare with me while I make this transition please and thank you!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Because Just Saying "You're a Bad Mom" Would Be Too Easy

So I call my mother, all excited because I thought of a cool gift for the kids for Christmas... Giga Pets! Or well, more like a generic brand that I found on Amazon.com for $1 each.. Anyway, I'm telling her about it, and yeah, she got them the exact same thing... oh well, they'll get two.

Then we are talking about school, and Picasso and Princess are running around being loud... not being bad, just loud, so I ask them to go upstairs to play so I can talk on the phone. They don't listen (because seriously, what kid does, right?) so I get a little louder and TELL them to go upstairs.

My mother gets all huffy and snaps at me "You know, I'm just gonna get those kids something for Christmas that they can ONLY use in their rooms, since that's where they spend 90% of their time ANYWAY!" and proceeds to tell me that basically all I do is yell at the kids and never spend time with them.

Umm, EXCUSE ME? I have been working my ASS off, TRYING to get life to be a little less chaotic so that I CAN spend time with them! I FINALLY got my school stuff organized so that I can stay ahead of assignments instead of struggling and stressing to get things done last minute, so that I am ABLE to spend a little time with my husband and kids.

I KNOW that I've neglected spending as much time with them lately as I should, but seriously, my kids do NOT spend 90% of their time in their rooms, even though I wish they would spend a little MORE time there. We spent a ton of time and money fixing those rooms up for them so they would ENJOY them and have a space of their own and WANT to be in them... but the only time they go in there is to sleep. I think I was completely justified in asking them to go play upstairs while I was on the phone because they were being loud.

What are your thoughts? Am I a horrible neglectful mother who should be shot?

Friday, December 4, 2009

That's My Girl..

Ordered pizza tonight for dinner, we cleared out two large pizzas between the six of us.

There were two slices left and Princess asks for a piece, then proceeds to eat all of the pepperoni and cheese off of it, and hands it to hubby.

Hubby: "You ate the pepperoni and cheese off your pizza and now you're done?"

Princess: "YEP!"

Hubby: "That's my girl..."

Me: Laughing uncontrollably (Because he's not her father)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

New Look, again

Just a note that the layout and look of this blog May and probably will change a lot over the next few days... still trying to get it just right.

Playing Hide-and-Seek with Luna

Last night on our way to town to pick up hubby from work, it was just me and the girls (Princess and Monkey), the boys had plans. Princess is in the back seat and I'm driving (umm, obviously) and she starts LAUGHING, like completely giggling like crazy. I turn the radio down (cause you know, it HAS to be cranked in order for me to drive without killing someone) and listen, this is what I hear:

"Where is she?.... THERE SHE IS!!!.... Peek-A-Boo!... She hiding again... She good a hiding.... *giggle*.... Peek-A-Boo!... Her a hiding again"

Ummm... What?

So it turns out Princess was watching the *AMAZING* (full?) moon last night and was playing "hide-and-seek" with it. When it went behind trees, it was hiding, then it would come out and she would yell peek-a-boo and start laughing like crazy, it was great.

I told her that the Moon's name was "Luna" (one of MANY names for the Moon depending on what following you are of), and after that she was like "Where is 'woona'" (cause you know, three year olds have a hard time with that 'L' sound sometimes).

Then... completely of her own accord, she comes out with this:

"Mommy... 'Woona' is like a Mommy..... and the Sun is like a *Daddy!"

But yeah, so someone tell me WHERE did she pick this up? Because as I said in my previous post... I have NOT really incorporated ANY of my Pagan beliefs into my parenting (yet), so I'm having a hard time understanding LOGICALLY where my 3 year old picked this up from... not that it isn't totally AWESOME, cause seriously? A 3 year old who knows Sun=Male and Moon=Female? AWESOME TIMES THREE!


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*Daddy is used in place of hubbys name because Princess calls him by his first name, not daddy

(Pagan) Holiday Traditions

Most families have Traditions, especially around the holidays. Growing up I remember always celebrating New Years Eve with Movies and Chinese take-out. No, there's no special significance with Chinese food and New Years Eve, it was more a matter of cost. My parents almost always received one or two gift certificates to their favorite Chinese restaurant for Christmas, and would use them to give us all a special meal for the new year. After a few years of doing this, it became a tradition, and even years when they didn't receive gift certificates, we still went for Chinese.

I have continued that tradition over the last 10 years and with my own children when they are home for New Years Eve, otherwise Hubby and I get Chinese and will go out to celebrate the New Year (and my birthday which coincidentally falls VERY close to it).

Since my husband and I have been together, we have begun a few traditions of our own, and since our family is still fairly new, these traditions are still evolving. One thing we have done since our very first Christmas together is to go to a local Tree Farm (a highly publicized one that donates Christmas trees to Military families) on the day after Thanksgiving, to pick out and cut our very own tree. While there we pick out a wreath or kissing ball, and the kids enjoy free homemade donuts and warm cider. Another tradition we started that very first trip to the tree farm was to let the kids each pick out their very own ornament, something we have continued every year since then.

Our theory was, it was our first Christmas together, neither of us had anything more for decorations than a few miscellaneous ones that had followed us from childhood, hand-me-downs from our parents or other well meaning people, and absolutely nothing matched. We didn't want our children to grow up in the same predicament, so we bought a set of glass balls in coordinating colors (blue and white), a blue tree skirt, and awesome wire edged ribbon that is sheer and glittery with snowmen, and a white Angel for the top of the tree (Angels hold a very significant place in Hubby's family so we picked one that was not religious but still an Angel). We figure that if the kids each can pick an ornament every year between now and when they move out and onto their own, they will each have approximately 20 very nice, unique and special ornaments to take with them to begin their own Holiday traditions with, and we will be left with our simple but still beautiful blue/white/silver ornaments and any special keepsake ornaments we end up with between now and then, like our GORGEOUS "Our First Christmas" ornament that hubby insisted on buying when we saw it at Macy's... Yes... Macy's... I won't tell you how much it cost, but let's leave it at, I could have fed us both at a small restaurant for what we paid.

We since have acquired a set of painted pine-cones that we hang on the tree, which pleases me to no end, because it gives that nature feel, and it brings me back to my roots, which is something I have wanted for a long time.

Something most of my readers do not know about me is that I am Pagan, something that has been important to me my entire life (but that's a whole different set of blog posts completely).

In my first marriage my husband "acted" supportive of my beliefs, but never fell short of making me feel like I should not incorporate my intended way of life, into his. My amazing hubby is super supportive and anyone who met him would think he himself was Pagan (though he still stands by the Catholic name because that's what he was raised as... haha).

Anyway, I have struggled for years since my husband and I got together, trying to find my way back to my path, and I finally feel as though I have taken the right turns, and finally am nearing where I should be. I decided that THIS holiday season we will be incorporating a new tradition. I want to begin introducing the kids to my belief system (without necessarily teaching them specifics or giving them lessons, just introducing aspects of Paganism to our daily lives, I think the good values are something everyone should learn!). My first attempt at this will be a variation of a tradition I read about online. The tradition I read about is called a Blessing Tree and for the life of me I can't find the link right now... I'll update when I do.. But basically you get a baby tree, and decorate it with bits of paper, each containing a Blessing or wish... and then after the holiday season you plant the tree. GREAT idea, this is supposed to be instead of cutting a tree down.

NOT so sure I could go without my tree... Hubby insists on a real one, and I love the time we spend with the kids going out to pick one out as a family, it's those traditions that are going to last a lifetime!

My idea is to take the idea of putting the blessings/wishes onto the "Christmas" tree (Yes, we call it Christmas), I want to have the kids write down a message thanking the tree for being our christmas tree, for allowing us to borrow it from Nature for awhile (since it will be returned to nature after the holiday season to become composted into the back yard).

Hubby comes from a very Italian family and one of their traditions growing up was to get together for a BIG seafood dinner on Christmas Eve, something we picked up our first year together. We went all out that first year and spent about $200 on the ONE meal for our combined families. Things have changed over the years and we are incorporating more pasta and finger foods into the mix. Last year I was pregnant so really couldn't have a lot of seafood so we simply had some Lobster and crab rolls, a shrimp platter, things like that, the main dish was stuffed manicotti.. SO GOOD! This year is looking to be similar, maybe a bit more seafood since I'm allowed to have it now haha.. But with the idea of money in mind, ,we need to keep costs low and are asking everyone to bring a small dish with them... and as always it's BYOB (Bring Your Own Booze, we may have some homemade wine available).

I think I will have the kids write their blessings for the tree before the party, and then ask everyone who comes to write their own and add it to our tree.. I'd like to cut some nice paper for this and use pretty ribbon to hang it on the tree... we will see what I come up with.

I think this is a good start for introducing Pagan traditions to the family, a little at a time... and hopefully I am able to incorporate more over the years.