Thursday, October 29, 2009

Ooooh, Baby You Read My Mind.

Yeah, so my husband and I have always had this uncanny knack of being able to read each others minds, finish each others sentences, say what the other is thinking, etc.


The other night we had picked up some food from the store, stuff to have mexican food for dinner, some milk for cereal in the morning, and egg nog just cause we love it.

So I'm putting the milk and egg nog into the fridge, and almost, by habit, put the egg nog on the bottom shelf of the door. That's where we keep the milk because our fridge is weird and that's the only place it wont freeze or spoil when the weather is warm, plus the kids can reach it.

I second guessed myself thinking "If I put this on the bottom shelf, someone is going to wind up putting it in cereal in the morning, I can see it now".

Turned around... and hubby starts on saying "You know, I once put egg nog in my cereal because I was out of milk."


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Need For Speed Is Deep

I have this habit of waiting until the absolute LAST minute to put my brakes on when I'm driving, my husband is always commenting on it and I think it's really starting to get to him.

The other night we were on our way to the hardware store to return something and were driving down a very busy road and approaching an intersection. The car in front of us was starting to slow down, I, as usual, waited until absolutely necessary and put the brakes on just in time.

Don't get me wrong, I don't resort to squealing tires and throwing my passengers around or anything, cause that's just not soccer-mom-behavior, but I do tend to wait and then slow down quite fast and then stop completely. It makes hubby nervous.

Anyway, as I'm finally slowing down, I see something out of the corner of my right eye.

Now you should note here that my husband has not driven a vehicle in almost 2 years except to maybe move to a different place in a parking lot, someones yard, etc.

Me: "Honey...... Are you trying to step on the brakes over there?"


Him: Trying..... Unfortunately my foot keeps slipping on the gas instead!"

I love my husband. Even if he is a neurotic speed demon who tries to drive instinctively from the passenger seat.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Self Analyzing

I have always been an analytical person. I would spend hours in my bedroom as a young girl writing in my diary, analyzing my life, my thoughts, my feelings, trying to find the hidden meaning behind them all.

To this day I am still like that, I analyze my dreams, life experiences, I believe most dreams are symbolic, and if I pay enough attention to what they are telling me, they can help me prepare for things ahead in my life, or help me deal with things I am currently experiencing.

Some of my dreams have been quite disturbing, and leave me physically shaken when I wake from them. Thankfully my husband and his mother are both believers in dream symbols and have been able to help me understand some of what my dreams have been trying to tell me.

I'm not really sure why I'm rambling about my dreams, I'm just in the frame of mind to analyze myself.

Being self analytical has helped me through SO many hard times in my life, and is probably one of the main reasons I am still alive.

I've never really spoken much about my first marriage on here, it has been something I've wanted to address, but could never quite find the right words to express some of the things I went through. I suppose now is as good a time as any to try.

I experienced some horrendous things during my first marriage, ate for comfort, drank to escape, I was an overweight borderline alcoholic (if that's even possible). About the time I got pregnant with my 3rd child and COULDN'T drink, I began to see my life for what it REALLY was, for how bad it had gotten since the birth of my second child a few years prior. It was a reality I almost couldn't face. Through the first 5 months of the pregnancy I struggled with severe depression and anxiety.

None of my mental/emotional issues were helped along by the fact that my husband was also expecting a child with someone else. I tried so hard to save my marriage, as miserable as it was, I was always one to believe that once you marry someone, that's it. The end.

The girlfriend was in and out of the picture for a few months, and after my husband and I discovered that I was carrying twins, only one of which was living, it was a lost cause after that. He became concerned with her and the baby she was having, leaving me to mourn the loss of our child and worry about any potential hardships the remaining baby might have to deal with.

I had what I can describe as nothing short of a mental break down. I remember being curled up in a ball on our dining room floor, crying uncontrollably, wondering if life would just be better for everyone if I were dead.

The night I caught my husband and his girlfriend having sex in our bed, I lost it completely. It was about Midnight and I took off running down the road, I had no shoes on, I don't even think I took anything, I just ran out. I could hardly see where I was going for the tears I had running from my eyes, and somehow I found myself sitting on the steps of the town library, right next to the dam of a small river. About the only thing that kept me from going over the edge of the dam that night was the baby I was carrying. I knew at that moment that I could have killed myself, but I couldn't kill someone else.

Anyway, it wasn't long after all of this that I left him. He threatened my life when I was getting ready to leave, and I got a protection from abuse order on him first thing the next day. It was the best thing I ever did, because it kept me from being able to talk to him and kept him from being able to convince me to come back and let my spirit be broken more than it already had been.

First thing I did after getting myself and my kids out of that house was to sign up for adult ed. I went back to school and less than 10 months later was attending my very own graduation ceremony where I received my GED.

The ceremony was attended by my parents, grandmother, my 3 children and the boyfriend I had started seeing just a few weeks before.

That boyfriend is now my husband and together we have 4 children and life is good!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Surprise, Surprise!

I did something this week that I never imagined I would EVER do. Something I always told myself and everyone else, that I had no intention of EVER doing. Well surprise to us all! I'm going back to school.

I enrolled in a two year program to get an Associates in Foundations of Business, with the possibility of a Bachelors in the future.

I qualified for a good amount of grants and will be using student loans to cover the rest.

So lets see, from high school drop out and teenage mom to Soccer mom of 4 working on a degree in less than 10 years. Essentially, from failure to success...

I'm nervous, more about the financial side of things than anything else, but I'm gonna try not to let it get to me, I mean my first year is COVERED with the grant and student loans, it's the second year I'll have to worry about, but I've got a year to get that figured out.

I start in 2 weeks officially but have 3 workshops to complete next week, and my enrollment counselor gave me an overview of what my first assignment will be for my first 2 classes (taking them 2 at a time), so I can get started on that instead of waiting until the last minute.

My mom is all excited, my father hasn't said much, my kids said they don't WANT me to go back to school, and my husband just doesn't want me to take on more than I can handle.

Me... I am taking this opportunity to prove a LOT of people wrong. All of those people who pegged me a failure as soon as that EPT showed a + sign when I was only 17 years old. Everyone who insisted I'd never make anything out of my life. Just going back and finishing High School 7 years after dropping out wasn't enough, a College Degree will prove them ALL wrong... and it won't hurt MY situation at all. If anything, it will help my business! :)

Friday, October 9, 2009

Free Or Super Cheap Anniversary Ideas

Hubby and I had planned on getting babysitters for all 4 kids (first time anyone's taken #4!) and going out for Dinner and a Movie to celebrate our upcoming wedding anniversary.

Unfortunately, Life is a bitch.

My van started acting up over the past week or so, my check engine light is on and it's been making funny noises and acting strange. We are PRETTY sure we need to replace the spark plugs and wires, and the air filter too, it's pretty grungy from driving down a lot of dirt roads lately... oh yeah, and I'm low on Oil and Anti-Freeze as well.

PLUS, we need about $150, give or take, for some improvements at my office, and those have to be done like NOW because they involve the heating system.

So that, along with some extra expenses over the last 2 weeks around the house, and there goes hubby's extra paycheck for the month of October (5 Thursdays = Extra paycheck).

WHICH, is what I was planning on us using for our anniversary. There goes that idea right out the window, along with my Sanity if I don't get a night OUT very soon!

We had planned dinner at this quiet little Cafe in town, we are friends with one of the owners, and it's a great place, practically the center of town, EVERYONE goes there. AND, it just so happens, that we ate breakfast there together the morning we got married, so eating there on our anniversary is like a tradition that I DON'T want to break!

Our plan to see a Movie... probably not gonna happen because there's no way we can afford the gas plus the cost of a movie and you cant watch a movie without at least a little popcorn and a soda...

I could REALLY use any suggestions... Our anniversary falls on a Sunday this year, we had planned on going out to celebrate the night before, but I'm not opposed to doing something during the day on Sunday instead, since that IS our anniversary after all.... breakfast at the Cafe instead of dinner.. I just have no idea what we could do instead of seeing a movie...

Monday, October 5, 2009

How Many Water Options Does YOUR Faucet Offer?

At dinner the other night everything was pretty quiet, hubby was feeding #4 some pureed carrots, we were all eating our meal when #1 spoke up and asked plain as day...

"What is there for water?"


Hubby, quick as ever, replied with "hot or cold, your choice."

Boy oh boy, it's never a dull moment in our house, haha!