Friday, December 16, 2011

Recipe: Monkey Bread Muffins

So let's rewind, back to December 2011. I had just finished closing my business and moving all of my stuff to storage, and it's my first week as a stay-at-home-mom in about 3 years... I'm bored out of my mind, not sure how to pass the time with my 2 1/2 year old who has either tagged along with me to work or gone to daycare since I opened my store.

We decided to make a fun breakfast of Monkey Bread Muffins! I don't follow a recipe for these, I just kinda wing it, but here's about how it works :)

First, get together your ingredients...

  • Sugar (I used Organic Raw Cane Sugar)
  • Grands Biscuits (any refrigerated biscuit should work)
  • Cinnamon
  • Powdered Sugar (Not Pictured)
  • Water

Next, cut your biscuits into quarters... I used kitchen scissors to cut them into little triangles

Next you roll each quarter into a ball (or let your 2 1/2 year old squeeze them and THEN you roll them into balls!)

Put the balls into the plastic bag with about 1/4 cup each of Sugar and Cinnamon - I put 8 balls in at a time (2 biscuits worth) because that's what fits in one large muffin cup (we use the BIG muffin pans for this, but you can use the standard sized muffin pan and just put 5 or 6 "balls" in) ---- AND SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE!

After you have shaken the living daylights out of those balls of dough and cinnamon and sugar, you put them in the muffin pan, like so

Bake on 350 for about 20-30 minutes (will depend on your oven), start checking them around 20 minutes, pull gently on the top "ball" and if it pulls off some and still looks dough-y, it's not done, put it back in for 5 more minutes... While this bakes, work on your icing!

Put about 1/2 cup of powdered sugar in a cup, and slowly add warm water, stir with a fork until it reaches a thick enough consistency so that it will drizzle off your fork

After your muffins have finished baking, allow them to cool for 10 minutes or so, and then add your icing!

And then enjoy with Coffee or Hot Cocoa! As you can see here, my beautiful assistant enjoyed her hot cocoa BEFORE her Monkey Bread Muffin :)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Just WHAT Were You Looking For?

So I enjoy reading Mental Poo and he has this GREAT series of blog posts that show some of the CRAZY stuff people who wind up on his site are searching for... this inspired me to check out my own stats, and even though I haven't posted anything in awhile, there were some pretty interesting results...

Umm.... Sex Mummy? Sex Free Mamaam? I can get the rest of those, but... WHAT?!?!?!

I searched for "Sex mummy" and couldn't find my site... I did, however, find some PRETTY interesting URL's that I refuse to click on, and "Sex free mamaam" brought about some equally disturbing titles and URL's...

Monday, September 19, 2011

And I now know that the interwebs hates me

It just took me almost an HOUR to log into this damned website... my password kept coming up as wrong, and I had to try 4 different passwords and log in using a bunch of different accounts (because I'm cool like that and have about a gazillion)... all of which were WRONG and most of which gave me a warning that they thought my account had been compromised, so now I have to create a NEW password to use for everything... just after I FINALLY got everything organized and memorized my password that I've been using for the last 5 years... yeah, I know, I should really change it a bit more often than that...

I live in a bubble of sorts... false sense of security and all that...

Anyway, I know I haven't posted in months, and I desperately want to post more, I just haven't had time! Lame excuse I know... bad blogger!

What's up with me you ask? Well, 4 crazy kids, relocated my business, hired a new girl, now get home at a reasonable time of day... Hubby's boss, coworkers and family all keep offering him help if he decides he wants to leave me, and Oh, yeah, did I mention I had no idea our marriage was on the rocks? NEWS FLASH! When your hurricane supply list consists of a bottle of rum and freshly brewed iced tea, you learn all sorts of fun facts.... Thanks Irene!

Things have been rough the past 6 months or so... probably the main reason I didn't post anything is because shortly after my last post, Oldest Son flipped his lid... went nuts one night, busted through a door with a rock trying to attack me, and then spent 3 weeks in a mental hospital... I'm sorry "Behavioral Health Facility"... mental hospital... They put him on new medication, and then the insurance company kept trying to send him home... yeah that was gonna happen... When I have to baracade two of my children in a room with myself while their older brother is going all nuts-o in the hallway trying to bust through a door and come after us... Yeah, I think not. When he was released 18 days after admission he went to my dads, and stayed there for a month or so. He finally came home shortly after the 4th of July... his hiatus caused him to miss the tail end of the school year, but they passed him anyway and he's doing great in the 5th grade so far!

There was a lot of ups and downs over those few months, getting meds straightened out, making sure we had all of the supports necessary to make sure home was SAFE for everyone, but it's been steadily progressing and getting better... by the end of summer he was getting up in the morning, making breakfast for himself and the other kids, and being generally helpful. It's been wonderful to see my son thrive as a normal 10 year old!

The first week of school they FINALLY got all of his developmental assessments done that they've been putting off for TWO years (Yes Special ed department... You SHOULD know that I know that that is HIGHLY against the law..... and You're DAMNED lucky I had too much on my plate to push the matter!)... and the results are IN.... My son has a freaking IQ of 113! While I know this doesn't make him a super genius, Average is only 100, so that makes him High Average Intelligence, this makes me a proud Mama-bear!

They also diagnosed him with a Phonological Processing Disorder, which from what I've been able to gather has something to do with his long term memory not letting him access his knowledge of symbols (numbers and letters) quickly while he is doing school work and the like, so he makes a lot of mistakes, such as mixing up letters and numbers, his basic handwriting and things like that... He KNOWS it all (Hello... IQ of 113... Just sayin'!), he just needs more time to process things... His reading and writing scored around 2nd and 3rd grade levels, but when he dictates answers and has material read to him, his answers blew away the instructor... I'm so proud...!

We also had an Occupational Therapy Evaluation done over the summer and that had some VERY interesting information for us... I forget the details and don't have the results handy at the moment, but it was very enlightening... the evaluator said he shows classic physical traits of ADHD and that when he is stressed he loses access to half of his brain, which cuts off his access to his eyes, ears and mouth, so quite literally he can't SEE the problem, HEAR what you are saying or COMMUNICATE with anyone... and all he has left is his legs which is his Fight or Flight instinct, and he leans to the Fight side of things... explains SO much!Photo courtesy of:

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Late Night Revelations: I Think I Just Forgave Him....

I left myself a note with the link to a friend's blog entry from the end of 2009, and a certain name and saved it here in a draft called "Emotional Cheating". I guess that means I'm supposed to tell you about my experience with that.

First, I recommend you go visit Chibi Jeebs' blog and browse around a bit, it's fantastic and I can wait.

You back? Good. Now I need to go back.. God, it's been so long. Well, Oldest Son (#1) is going on ten, so that means it was.... ummm.... 8 1/2 years ago.... Yeah I guess that sounds about right, wow....

Anyway, This post on Chibi Jeebs' blog is the one I was specifically referring to. It discusses emotional cheating. To be honest, until I read this blog entry, I had only ever heard that term once, a comment (or series of comments) from my father, to my mother, about a family friend (yeah... more on that later, this is about me). I had no idea it was "real".

After reading Chibi's blog entry, and the included link to a Wiki page about emotional cheating/affairs, I realized that Yes, it is in fact a real thing, and I've done it.

Rewind a number of years, 9 is probably sufficient, and let me set the scene for you:

I'm an 18 (barely) year old first time mother of a 6 month old, living with my boyfriend (baby daddy, and future first husband) of 2 years. Boyfriend is a total asshole and treats me like a child, yet expects me to be a perfect "housewife" (read: Maid & Sex Slave). My mother is staying with us temporarily as she's going through a lot... surprisingly this isn't a huge problem, aside from the fact that she's Bipolar and currently dealing with a huge round of sexual addition, leading her to a series of one-night-stands with internet strangers. One of whom, happens to be a gateway to one of the best things that ever happened to me. Let's call him "T".

At 18, I had a very vague idea of what a man should be... growing up my father was a little harsher than necessary to put it mildly. My mother was Co-dependent at best, on top of being bipolar/manic-depressive, so growing up was highly unstable and when I finally moved out (and into my boyfriend's house), I had no idea what I was doing, and basically allowed him to become a father figure to replace the one I had just left.

Life got even more unstable.

So fast forward to 18 years old, a new mom, lonely because my asshole boyfriend was always at work or sleeping, I hated sleeping alone and the baby was awake all night anyway, so I was on a nighttime schedule myself. Late nights with nothing to do, I found solace in the internet, chat rooms to be specific. My mother had made friends with a group of guys that all rented a house together and had funny nicknames for each other. They were hilarious. We all got along well and chatted regularly, however I became particularly close to "T".

He had this old soul feel about him and I was drawn to it. We chatted every day and night whenever possible. I would look at his pictures and we would go on webcam together, and it was great. I thrived on the attention he was giving me, and I'm not sure I would have made it through my PPD (post-partum depression - remind me to tell you that story later) without having him to fall back on when I needed someone to talk to. He made me feel amazing about myself. I would go on webcam and he would make me feel beautiful and sexy, I took pictures of myself and would send them to him, and he made me feel so great, I had never had someone in my life who made me feel anything but ugly and fat.

My mother thought it was great that he and I were such good friends, since she was sleeping with one of his roommates, I don't think she ever realized how intense it was for me.

Essentially, I fell in love with him. The idea of him, the way he made me feel, the things he said to me, the things he said he wanted to do to me, all of it. The whole idea of "T" just awed and amazed me. My mother and I loved to go to him when in need of suggestions for music to download, We would tell him "We Need some 'T'-Tunes!" and he would set us up with a playlist to download. He had the most unique taste in music, and introduced me to some of the most unusual things that I probably never would have heard if it weren't for him. To this day I can't hear the song Brandy (You're a Fine Girl) by Looking Glass without thinking of him.

Unfortunately, he also wasn't interested in a relationship (he had his own emotional hangups and a bad history with them), and I wasn't interested in breaking up my relationship and having my child be from a broken home. -- Too bad for me, he may have had a chance at a normal life if I had left then. I knew deep down it would never go anywhere, but I held on, I still craved that attention, the self-esteem boost, how he made me feel, all of it.

"T" was older, 9 years if I recall correctly. Being young that seems like ages. Yet, he also seemed so much wiser than what I had experience with (Obviously, because he was...) and we seemed to be on the same level in so many ways. I really believe he was my first adult LOVE.

Now that I've written about him and listened to that song, for some reason, I kind of get the feeling that the reason he suggested that song was perhaps to tell me in his own way that he couldn't be with me, for whatever reasons he had, he wanted me to know that and he had a hard time getting me to understand that.

After about a year of being completely head over heels for him and having all kinds of trouble in "paradise" (yeah right, the sarcasm, it swells), things finally came to a head.

Boyfriend and I had let a friend of mine from school come stay with us for a couple months. She needed to get back to the city (about 3 hours away) to get some of her things from her former boyfriends apartment and we had no way to get here there. Knight-in-shining-armor, here comes "T", and his roommates, driving 2 hours to my house to pick her up and drive her down there (back through their neck of the woods and then another hour further) to get her things. She hung out at their place for a few days until Boyfriend and I could get down there to pick her up.

That was the first time I saw "T" in person, he was IN MY HOUSE! In my dining room. The same room I would sit on the computer late at night and talk to him, about all the deep dark secrets in my 18 year old head. All the dreams I had, the fantasies I had for the two of us, that he had told me could never come true. It was overwhelming, that feeling of seeing him in person for the first time, and nothing I had felt for him prior to that night changed except to perhaps get stronger.

After Boyfriend and I found our way to "T"s house to pick up my friend, I was introduced to the world of the "Willow Street Wino's" for the first time. It was everything I had imagined and more. Typical bachelor pad, times 3, but nice nonetheless.

Things went back to normal for a few weeks, until Boyfriend and I were gone to a company Christmas party and left my friend at the house while we were gone for the night. We had asked her to not have anyone over while we were gone (obviously because we didn't want people we didn't know in our house), and when we came home the next morning, she was gone.

It turned out (after turning the computer on and her messenger account was logged in and I browsed her chat history to see if I could find out where she had gone) "T" had driven up, picked her up, and she went back to his place with him. I also found out that they had slept together.

I was shattered. Absolutely destroyed. I fell apart, everything around me failed to make sense. My best friend had slept with the guy I was in love with, and she KNEW how I felt about him. Forget the fact that I was in a relationship with someone and had a child with him, that meant nothing at this point.

I cut ties with both of them immediately, I was devastated, and it still cuts me like a knife to think about the way they both betrayed me. That hurt worse than when Former Husband knocked up my sister! (More on that later... that's a few months worth of posts and PTSD).

And now I understand why I was drawn to Chibi Jeebs' blog, and read her specific entry on emotional cheating. I was having an emotional affair. I had no idea at the time, I had no idea until 8 1/2 years later when I browsed a friends blog and found an entry about it.

I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and I also feel that for some reason, I was meant to write about this tonight. After looking up that song and listening to it, it finally dawned on me what he was trying to tell me with that song all those years ago. After figuring that out, it became clear that the reason he slept with my best friend was because I was being naive and wouldn't give up on the idea of he and I being together one day. He knew it could never happen, for whatever reason, and did what was necessary to make me see it.

Mission accomplished I'd say. Sleep with a girls best friend and the chances are good she will never want to speak to you again.

I did track him down a number of years later, it was almost 4 years ago now I believe, shortly after I moved in with the Current Husband, and we caught up on what had gone on over the 4 years since we hadn't spoken. It was friendly, it was neutral, I still cared for him, but I was over him. I think maybe I just needed that confirmation before I could commit to someone else fully, someone who reminded me so much of him (Yeah, Current Husband and "T" have some VERY similar physical and personality traits, apparently, they are both the epitome of "MY TYPE" - The opposite of Former Husband).

Now that I've re-lived all of that, made some realizations about things that happened that I probably never would have otherwise considered, I think I've just forgiven him for hurting me so bad. I don't know if I'll ever forgive my friend, but I think maybe he cared enough about me to hurt me the way he did before it got worse.

Tough love I suppose. I think I'm thankful for that :)

Happy Mother's Day!

This is what I woke up to, after I woke up to a little morning sumthin'-sumthin' and fell back to sleep.

The hubby apparently decided to get romantic and fancy with breakfast.... Chocolate (secretly swiped from the remaining Easter bunnies in the cupboard) and banana pancakes... YUM!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Thursday, April 21, 2011

And if we're being honest....

Then honestly I think I need a drink.

But for now, Lindt Intense Mint Chocolate will have to do. Especially since I'm at work, and even though I know my boss wouldn't complain about me drinking on the job, I'm afraid I may over/under charge customers, and THAT my friends, would be a problem.

I just spent two and a half hours filling out paperwork for my various offspring and their various STUFF.

Oldest Daughter (4) had a packet of information that required me to provide them with all but documentation confirming that she does, in fact, live on the planet Earth. I do however have to provide documentation confirming that she does live in our town. Damn Pre-Kindergarten and your need to know everything from conception to now.

For Youngest Son (7) I had to fill out two wonderful packets of information. They required damn near the same information that Oldest Daughter's paperwork needed, and I had to do his twice. Darn Psychiatrists and Developmental Specialists... thinking they need to know all this stuff... I'm still trying to understand why they need to know if he masturbates... and why they think I would know this.

Slow day at work, which is nice because it left me plenty of time to get that paperwork done... most of which I've had for a good month or more and "forgot" (read: didn't feel like) to do.

Also. School vacation. WTF daycare lady. Isn't the point of daycare to give working parents a safe/healthy/educational/fun environment for their children to be in while the parents are working (and the kids aren't in school obviously)? Could have fooled me, but that's what I thought too. So, why, DC lady, when a school vacation approaches, do you tell me "Oh, I'll be open ___day and ___day, but I'll be closed the rest of vacation".

Now, I understand, Oldest daughter isn't in school yet, so school vacation doesn't apply to her. BUT, I do have two other kids who are in school, and I struggle to find them places to go over vacation so I can continue to work and bring home that money that pays your paycheck. You know that one that is a Minimum of $75 for the week, whether she's there or not, that I only agreed to because no other daycare in town had openings? Youngest daughter (2) still comes to work with me, even though I'm not nursing anymore, just because I can't afford to pay you for all your vacations.

Now, I suppose, I need to get back to tending the THREE kids I had to bring to work with me today because no one was available to babysit and daycare was closed. Over school vacation. Blah.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The one where I apologize for not blogging in over a year.

It's halfhearted, but I apologize. Life has been so busy, ups and downs with the kids and all that good stuff. As Seinfeld would say, "Yadda, yadda, yadda".

Money sucks, has anyone mentioned that lately? Nothing like having to write a check that you KNOW will overdraw your account, to pay the rent that's already late.. Not to mention those pesky disconnect notices that keep popping up.

Oh well, if I hadn't forgotten to switch bank accounts with the school, I'd be paying bills off today, not worrying about if they'll be shut off before the money comes in. Stupid me and forgetting I closed the account my student loan money was supposed to go to... now I have to wait for a check, which could take up to 2 weeks. Blah. I need some customers to come shop, like, yesterday.

Business is good for the most part. Just still playing the catch up game from this past winter. And now Former Husband has added a whole new bunch of stress to my life. The wonderful, disconnected, "Cant be bothered to do what the judge told me to do" abusive idiot has decided he can get the courts to give him custody? Yeah, I'm trying to figure that one out too.

Won't happen, so I digress..

To top off my day... its raining, with hail, and thunder, did I mention the thunder? I don't like Thunder at all. And The Hubby and I are kind of on the outs at the moment. He's not dealing well with stress around the kids. Oldest son to be more specific. Its a tight spot to be in, and I can't say I blame him for losing his cool... hell, a year ago I was losing it myself... the difference? I got help.


I hate thunder and hail. Yuck.