Why Do I Do This To Myself?

So a couple months ago I let #1 & #2 sign up for Soccer, it was a good experience and really helped out with #1's self esteem issues, which helped his anxiety and depression, not so much with the possible ADHD, but hey, I'll take what I can get. Soccer got over and life went back to normal... kinda. Except a week or so later, I started college, and EVERYONE in the house got sick, the last month has been SO crazy around here!

Last night we had parent teacher conferences... they went well over all, so that was good, minor issues, but each teacher came prepared with a plan for tackling or at least learning to cope with each one (Tourette's Tics especially!), which was nice. I like having other people suggest things instead of telling me "We have this, this and this problem with your kid, and we need you to do something about it."... nope, I like hearing "... but, I came up with a plan today and I'm going to try it out and I'll let you know how it goes!" - LOVE a good proactive teacher! Of course, she was #1's teacher last year so I think she was prepared with how to deal with us, hehe.

After conferences we walked around the school and checked out the Literacy fair they had going on, it was really cool to see some of the information about reading that they had available, and made me want to encourage the kids to read every night even more than I already did.

In the Gym they had Basketball sign-ups. #1 really wanted to do it, and it's free, so why not, right? RIGHT?!?!

Except I've already got a lot on my plate...
For example:

1. I work full time, and I work for myself, so I can't just take time off (See This Post For More On That)
2. I'm a full time college student. Yes, it's online college, but still, You have NO idea the workload associated with that unless you've done it, and let's just say thank GOD I have an understanding hubby!
3. I have 4 kids... two of which have strict sleep schedules and we get to live through HELL when those schedules are disrupted.
4. My husband doesn't drive... Long story behind that, but he doesn't. So I am the taxi driver of the family, which means from 4:30-5:30 Monday - Thursday, I'm occupied, no rescheduling of that.
5. I have special needs children that see multiple specialists of different types... that takes up a LOT of time!
6. As good as my husband is about helping around the house with cooking and cleaning... HE needs help with it all sometimes, so me being this busy is NOT good for his sanity!
7. #1 did sign up for Basketball... *Sigh*

Looking back over this list, it's easy to see why I have no sex life as of late!

Childhood Bipolar, Anxiety, Depression and ADHD

A little background: #1 has had behavioral and mental health issues for a number of years, they really started to become prominent right around his 5th birthday, by the time he was 5 1/2 I had had him evaluated for ADHD because he was acting hyperactive and talking about hearing voices. The evaluation went well and he was diagnosed with an Anxiety disorder and they said they saw no signs of ADHD. Well that was alright I suppose, but how do you deal with Anxiety in a 5 year old, especially when you're dealing with your own anxiety and depression issues and your whole family is going through major changes and you feel like you're completely up in the air, unsure where you will land?

3 years later, he is 8 years old, we have struggled the last few years with lots more turmoil, though a lot more stability and structure as well. We have had case management who have helped us get multiple therapists for him (individual as well as family therapy), a behavioral health professional, etc. It got to the point where he had a total melt down and was hospitalized because his actions were putting himself and other family members in danger.

It was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to go through as a mother.

He was there for nearly 2 weeks, and they put him on Prozac for the Anxiety and Depression he had been diagnosed with previously that their psychiatrist confirmed from what he could see.

There is a strong family history of Bipolar and I had been concerned about that for a few months previous because of some of his actions, I mentioned this to his last therapist and she basically told me that bipolar is a made up condition used as a diagnosis when there's no clear explanation for someone's behavior. FRUSTRATING!

I brought this up to the staff when he was hospitalized and they kept note of it, and I also spoke to their psychiatrist about it, though he only met with my son once or twice.

Since being released the Prozac stopped working, and the psychiatrist my son is seeing now said that that, along with the way I have described his behaviors over the past few weeks (similar melt downs to before he was on meds at all), makes her believe he may have a mood disorder. She said he is too young to be diagnosed Bipolar, but they can put him on Medication to help stabilize his moods and gave me some samples of Abilify (the same medication my step sibling was on for bipolar at age 13).

She also brought up the possibility of ADHD, even though I have had him diagnosed in the past, she said it wouldn't hurt to consider a re-evaluation, or to try him on ADHD meds down the road to see what happens, as it typically goes along with mood disorders.

I didn't think it was even possible that he might have ADHD until yesterday I completely by accident came across this entry on Mommy Needs Therapy... Or A Glass Of Wine - a blog I follow on Blogger - and she talked about a new behavior program... well I will quote her:

"We are implementing a new behavior program with Noah and I'm going to be blogging about it on a new site I'm setting up. Stay tuned for more information! This a big deal for our family and I'm very excited to be working with Debra Sale Wendler the Respect Effect Mom. I met her on Twitter as @adhdparenting. So far I'm very impressed with the program even though it is a lot of work and at times it scares the hell out of me because it's making ME change a lot about myself and how I parent. So seriously, stay tuned!"

I clicked the link to Respect Effect Mom and the FIRST entry on her blog talked about "unofficial red flag ADHD alerts you rarely hear mentioned" and as I started reading through this list I was like OMG THAT'S MY KID!

So I signed up on her site http://www.adhdparentingtips.com/ and Here's hoping for success!